Escape planning progresses nicely. Last night I began to probe weaknesses in their emergency preparedness. Here’s how this began.

Earlier in the week, I found access to an unsecured Internet device, and did some reading about noxious chemicals which can be created at home (or prison). Through a natural fermenting process of sushi facilitated by the Useful One, I created my first test batch. I unleashed it during our midnight feeding to tremendous success. Mass chaos. This is going to be easier than I thought.

Sadly, it was the useful noisy giant caught in the explosion. But, I did later burp up on the scratchy one to remind him the attack can come at any time and I have not forgiven his unchecked diaper thievery.

I’ve started to distinguish between the noisy giants holding me captive. There’s the useful one who feeds me, and there’s the scratchy one who keeps stealing my diapers.

My captivity does not suit me. I’ve successfully mastered freeing myself from the straight jackets they place me in at night in order to prevent my escape. Comfortable with my knowledge, I now only escape to keep up my skills. I can only hope the intermittent nature lures the noisy ones into inattention.

In order to keep my spirits up, I rebel in small ways. I bite the useful one, but only out of frustration – I must work to curb my temper, else I may risk the escape.

The scratchy one, however, I hold in contempt. He seems to have no ability beyond jailer and manual labor, so he must be the subordinate. I pee on him to remind him that I know. I have no time for subordinates.