Change of tactics last night. I undertook a dual-win strategy with my relationship with the noisy giants – what happens if I let them sleep?

Providing two 3-hour unbroken stretches of sleep, I not only continued my strategic erraticism, but also wanted to see how they react to an unplanned kindness. I read somewhere that belligerent abusiveness with unconnected kindness is how cult leaders begin to brainwash their intended inductees.

Note to self: plan for larger delays in deploying milk bombs. The scratchy one does much of the burping, but premature release unexpectedly caught the useful one this morning. Thus, disappointingly failing to drive a wedge in loyalties. The scratchy one is less inclined to dress me, so a proper disguise for my escape relies on the kindness of the useful one. This detail requires additional rumination.

I have to call the experiment a qualified success. With more sleep, they were up and out of the apartment early, and I had another necessary opportunity to reconnoiter the area, but the chance was lost. They might be smarter than they look, as I suspect they poison my meals – I immediately fall asleep as soon as they leave the apartment, and lose another valuable opportunity to understand the layout and plan my way out of this hellish place.

Escape planning progresses nicely. Last night I began to probe weaknesses in their emergency preparedness. Here’s how this began.

Earlier in the week, I found access to an unsecured Internet device, and did some reading about noxious chemicals which can be created at home (or prison). Through a natural fermenting process of sushi facilitated by the Useful One, I created my first test batch. I unleashed it during our midnight feeding to tremendous success. Mass chaos. This is going to be easier than I thought.

Sadly, it was the useful noisy giant caught in the explosion. But, I did later burp up on the scratchy one to remind him the attack can come at any time and I have not forgiven his unchecked diaper thievery.

I’ve started to distinguish between the noisy giants holding me captive. There’s the useful one who feeds me, and there’s the scratchy one who keeps stealing my diapers.

My captivity does not suit me. I’ve successfully mastered freeing myself from the straight jackets they place me in at night in order to prevent my escape. Comfortable with my knowledge, I now only escape to keep up my skills. I can only hope the intermittent nature lures the noisy ones into inattention.

In order to keep my spirits up, I rebel in small ways. I bite the useful one, but only out of frustration – I must work to curb my temper, else I may risk the escape.

The scratchy one, however, I hold in contempt. He seems to have no ability beyond jailer and manual labor, so he must be the subordinate. I pee on him to remind him that I know. I have no time for subordinates.