According to Sun Tzu, the great teacher and tactician, there are five constant factors which govern the art of war. Here is how I am using them in my campaign against the noisy giants.

1. The Moral Law – Constant practice makes perfect and prepared. I work every day ensuring my skills are up to snuff.
2. Heaven – Be aware of, and use, local conditions. Some tactics may work in some weather, and not in others. The straightjackets the noisy giants use, despite foiling my escape, preserve my body heat and keep me well rested – ready to pounce at any minute.
3. Earth – understand distances. I used my “loud sleeping” tactic to force a move to the side of the bed where the scratchy one sleeps. Although he’s the heavier sleeper, when they do get me up, this means they are both awake. Tiring two foes for the price of one diaper.
4. Commander – the virtues of wisdom, sincerity, benevolence, courage, and strictness. Let’s remember, just because I’m held against my will and paraded around like a spoil of war, I’m only destroying them because I never want to have to make that point again.
5. Method and Discipline – I’m slightly inverting the great teacher’s writing. He says that conduct of an army and the infrastructure supporting it can win or lose a battle before it is ever fought. In this case, I’m looking from the noisy giants’ perspective and sabotaging their long term capabilities.

I plan to continue my lessons from Sun Tzu and other great tacticians as long as I am able. It is dangerous enough getting my updates out, I feel it is important that future generations may be able to learn from my hard won lessons.